This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
