When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
