honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
