i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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