She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
