question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
