So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
