S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
