North Korea, Best Korea!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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