is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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