call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hippo gnu deer
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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