i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm too high and old for this...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
