I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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