I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
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oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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