if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
farters have to be the big spoon...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
nutella sex= disaster
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
