What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
