is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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