My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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