they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
