People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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