You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
