Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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