i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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