You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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