oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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