People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
