Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
