thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
