Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
