that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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