How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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