super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Acid is not a monday night drug
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
