I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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