just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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