Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
