there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
