RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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