I cannot find my penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
