my vag is so smooth its legendary
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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