its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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