I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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