Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
