Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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