i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
