lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
