I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
how does that bad decision feel?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
