Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
