Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize