i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
