Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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