My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
