They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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