So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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