Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
