Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
