i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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