She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
