so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
