hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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