Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
