I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
