I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
