dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
